Evil dies tonight. Gays renovate murder houses. Kyle Richards tries to act her way out of a paper bag. Halloween Kills simultaneously tries to do everything and absolutely nothing. The film is a slog from the opening act, where an unnecessary back-story sets the one consistent theme to this sequel: unnecessary. Set immediately after the events of Halloween (2018), Michael Myers has been left to burn in Laurie Strode’s basement and in predictable fashion, he survives and immediately adds between ten to fifteen bodies to his kill count. Whereas in the 1978 film, Michael murders solely to get to Laurie, in the recent sequels he kills anyone and everyone with no challenge or recourse. By Halloween Kills, this method eliminates any fear, any thrills, and any interest.
While Laurie Strode recovers in the hospital, her granddaughter (and perhaps worst actress of Generation Z) gallivants around Haddonfield, mere minutes after her own father was murdered, to attempt to best Michael at his own game. She is joined by several of his past survivors, who quite easily are picked off one by one. They often run along streets urging Haddonfield residents to take shelter indoors, as though Michael Myers entire modus operandi is not entering one’s home and murdering them. Some residents, however, have taken shelter at the hospital and are easily roped into a lynch mob, chanting “evil dies tonight” and chasing an innocent man to his death. There’s a moral there somewhere, but who cares?
Halloween Kills, quite honestly, is a disgrace to horror, a disgrace to the franchise, and a disgrace to each of the 110-minutes it wastes. I have no idea where they are taking this story, nor do I care. Any interesting threads (such as the horror gays who renovate the Myers home) aren’t even given the justice to unravel, they’re just left to sit there, limp. To put it lightly, the movie is a slog to get through and if anything, the franchise itself has had highs and lows, but it has never been boring.
Rating: 3/10